


Startling Clarity

by Amanda_Yates



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Infidelity, Kid Merlin, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-15
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2017-12-29 11:24:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1004862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amanda_Yates/pseuds/Amanda_Yates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwaine is an unmitigated flirt, Arthur knew and thought he could handle it when he married Gwaine six years ago but years of jelousy and anger makes Arthur reveal some things about himself to Gwaine which puts both of them and their relationship to the test with their kid Merlin caught in the middle. Kid Merlin, Arthur/Gwaine SLASH.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter - 1

"Merlin, did you brush your teeth?" shouted Arthur loudly as he stood in the master bedroom trying to tie a proper Windsor knot.

Merlin screamed "Yes daddy" and Arthur finally having wrestled the tie into place went into Merlin's room to find him in his pants with his favorite red pajamas with santa's clutched in his hands.

Arthur smiled and lifted his five year old on top of the bed before he took the pj's from Merlin's hand and dressed him for the night.

"When will you and pa be back?" asked Merlin chewing on his thumb. Arthur was not in a mood to berate him for it at the moment, honestly, he was tired and he did not want to attend any parties and Merlin always fussed when either Gwaine or Arthur wasn't home with him at any point of time.

"Probably by midnight, you'll be good for the babysitter won't you sweet?"

"I don't want to be with the babysitter."

"No?" asked Arthur chagrined, Merlin was a particularly fussy kid when he didn't have his parents around and Arthur was glad that it was night time, "Tell you what, you just sleep through the night now and pa and I will take you shopping tomorrow to make it up to you."

"How does that sound?" asked Arthur when Merlin didn't respond right away.

Merlin looked sad and if Arthur detected right hurt as he said "Pa never takes me out anymore."

Arthur knew it as well, Gwaine was getting more and more distant and he hated that it was obviously affecting Merlin so.

He kept his expression neutral to not give away the bitterness he was feeling and kissed Merlin on both of his chubby cheeks ending with rubbing their noses together which never failed to make Merlin giggle.

Then he tucked his little boy into bed and drew the blankets around him tightly.

"Leave the lamp on daddy."

"Sure Merlin, goodnight."

"Goodnight daddy."

Arthur walked out of Merlin's room with one last look in his direction. He finished dressing up and just as he was putting on his cologne the doorbell rang and he heard Gwaine's unmistakable voice bellow "Arthur! I told you to be ready at eight sharp."

Arthur huffed, irritated despite himself. Either way he descended the steps faster and went straight for the babysitter.

"Merlin should sleep through the night so you probably won't have any trouble, we'll be back by mid night and I'll hold the cab for you to return home."

Gwaine was eyeing him with impatience, immaculately dressed and hair styled to perfection.

"I've written our contact numbers here," Arthur passed her a paper and then added, "and help yourself to anything in the fridge."

"Sure mister Pendragon, you have a lovely night."

Arthur smiled before heading out; Gwaine had already opened the door and was just short of huffing at Arthur delaying them further.

When they were finally in the car Arthur allowed himself to feel his irritation with the entire situation.

"Why do we even have to go to this party?"

Gwaine turned to look at him like he was a bit dim, "Because we're invited every year and we attend every year Arthur."

"Yes but for once I'd like you to decline the offer; I'd actually like to spend my time at home before Christmas you know."

"What are you getting so testy? He'd an important business partner Arthur, I can't just say no."

"Of course you can't" muttered Arthur but in the confined space Gwaine heard him anyway.

Arthur kept silent for a while and then he heard Gwaine sigh before he sidled closer to Arthur and pulled him closer to himself. Arthur went reluctantly knowing this was one of Gwaine's tactics to distract Arthur from having a confrontation with him.

Still Arthur liked it when Gwaine did this and as Gwaine's hands trailed up and down the sides of his body and he whispered "I promise I'll make it up to you tonight baby" in his ear, Arthur's irritation slowly melted out of him.

They arrived at the Grayson's residence and like every other year Mister Grayson and his wife were there to greet them.

"Gwaine!" Mister Grayson and Gwaine hugged each other before Gwaine air kissed his wife making the older woman give him a frankly lewd look. Arthur stood back as Mister Grayson gave him a much more formal greeting and beseeched them to enjoy the festivities.

After two glasses of champagne and a lot more of alcohol on Gwaine's part, Arthur and Gwaine were dancing to some melody that played softly in the background.

"Do you know anyone in this party?" asked Arthur tired of the silence, these days they had lost their inane chattering about everything and nothing and Arthur hated the silence.

Gwaine looked around at the people in the room before saying "Yeah, a couple of them. Why?"

"I don't know any of them and I just wonder why Grayson invites us to these things every year. It's dreadfully boring."

"Don't whine Princess."

Arthur narrowed his eyes and Gwaine twirled him around making it impossible for Arthur to express his hatred at the pet name Gwaine insisted on calling him whenever Arthur nagged him about something or the other.

* * *

As the next song started Gwaine excused himself saying he needed the loo and Arthur sat back at the bar table holding his third flute of champagne. Minutes turned into an hour and Gwaine had still not made an appearance again. Then Arthur noticed him across the hall on the opposite side and what he saw made him clench his flute a little harder.

Gwaine was there alright, he was there with two girls linked to both of his arms and by the looks of it he was chatting them up blatantly. It didn't help that the two girls were very hot.

This was exactly what the problem was with these parties, Gwaine almost always left Arthur to flirt to some random bloke or bird and Arthur was segregated to his own corner stewing in jealousy and hurt pride for the remainder of whatever grandiose thing they attended together. Arthur was Gwaine's husband for god's sake and Gwaine never seemed to realize that his harmless flirting as he called it was not so harmless to Arthur.

It didn't help that Gwaine looked like a greek God and spoke like Don Juan making woman and men lust after him helplessly. It also didn't help that Gwaine was bisexual where Arthur was completely gay.

Idly Arthur wondered when he'd become so complacent about it all, a few years back Arthur would have thrown a hissy fit over such a behavior from his spouse but now he was just tired. Tried, incredibly angry and jealous.

Arthur saw the two girls escorting Gwaine somewhere out of the hall and out of his eyesight and frowned wondering if Gwaine was going to come back at all.

In his preoccupation he hadn't noticed a man who'd managed to get quite close to him. He turned to notice a man who was quite tall, atleast three inches taller than himself with graying hair, startling grey eyes which were looking at Arthur with intent.

"Hello, I'm Juliano Bellanti and I am Italian."

The older guy lowered his voice and spoke in a husky tone that told exactly what he wanted from Arthur.

Arthur would usually brush somebody off who was so blatantly hitting on him but tonight he allowed a sly smile to come forth as he introduced himself to the strange man, "Hello, I'm Arthur Pendragon, and I am British."

"Well Arthur, are you here with someone?"

Arthur chuckled, guy went straight for the killer and Arthur stage whispered "Yes, I'm with my husband."

The man visibly deflated but then asked "Why would such a beautiful man like you want to marry?"

At the same time the man offered his hand and tilted his head towards the dance floor.

Arthur took his hand and allowed the man to lead him to the dance floor. From this vantage point he could see that Gwaine was still clinging on to the two girls from before and Arthur scowled.

Then Arthur focused on his own partner as he asked titillating, "And why would I not want to marry?"

The man paused looking unsure for a second before he proclaimed, "A man like you could have anybody he wanted to, why would you exchange that in order to restrain yourself to just one man?"

"You do realize Julian," Arthur got the name wrong on purpose, "that you are saying that I'm worth for nothing except my beauty, don't you?"

The man chuckled now causing Arthur's skin to tingle pleasantly, he didn't know if it was the effect of the champagne or the thrill of being so openly wanted in such a long time by someone else. Gwaine was the shameless flirt in their relationship; Arthur was socially inept and never had as many admirers as Gwaine even if he was handsome.

As they danced together Arthur glared at the trio on the other side of the room, disdain clouding his eyes at the sight of the giggling girls and pain coming at him in increments. Didn't Gwaine know how much his faffing about hurt Arthur?

And what was worse was Gwaine caught his eye once and noticed him dancing with another man and there was absolutely no reaction from him. Arthur was always the jealous one wanting Gwaine's affections and attention, Gwaine was never ever jealous of Arthur.

"So what do you do for a living Arthur?" asked his company for the night, his very interested company if the man's hands sliding up and down his sides was any indication and in the time he'd been glaring at Gwaine he'd been pulled a lot closer to the man who was holding him in a tight grip now.

"I work at my father's law firm, and I'm also an art collector."

The man hummed and when he was distracted answering the man Gwaine had disappeared somewhere again and the girls were not around either. Arthur's eyebrows pinched together in suspicion, he knew Gwaine was a flirt but he'd never had any reason to believe he was engaging in an affair yet.

A part of Arthur wanted to dash out and find Gwaine now, demand an explanation and rage about the unfairness of it all. But a larger part of him just wanted to catch Gwaine in the act.

Arthur closed his eyes tight and leaned into the taller man's embrace thinking for one minute how it would feel if Gwaine were here to hold him like this now. His champagne addled mind was making him feel more and more uninhibited and when the other man's hand slipped into his shirt to touch naked skin Arthur sighed wantonly before he remembered himself.

Arthur opened his eyes and the man was gazing at him, his pupils blown wide by obvious desire. "The Grayson's have an extensive medieval art collection upstairs…I could show them to you, now."

Arthur understood that art was the last thing on the other man's mind and yet he smiled brazenly and continued to dance with him if only to thaw the angry demon wanting blood and revenge against Gwaine, Gwaine who was coming downstairs thankfully alone. But who knew what he'd been upto for so long upstairs.

Arthur closed his eyes again, not wanting to see Gwaine just yet, the realization of what he might have been upto sinking in slowly and leaving him tense and uncomfortable in Juliano's arms.

When the song ended Arthur was swaying closer and when their hips brushed and Arthur felt the other mans erection he snapped back into his senses. He moved back and said "I..I think I've had a little too much champagne and….and I need to find my husband."

Unfortunately Juliano seemed to be persistent case and held onto Arthur's hand tightly, "Oh come on Arthur, your husband will be fine on his own for a little while longer, don't you think?"

Arthur swallowed the 'fuck off' that wanted to emerge from his lips and instead thought about it, Gwaine probably didn't miss him much and probably wouldn't. After all he must know Arthur was being held by a rather straightforward stranger whose intentions were clear as day and still Gwaine wasn't here to intercept.

Arthur didn't want to think about what that meant for them and their relationship.

"Yes..he'll be fine, but will I?" asked Arthur with a shrewd look trying to extricate himself without causing a scene.

"Of course you will"

The man sounded and looked earnest like wanting to fuck a married man was not at all a wrongdoing and Arthur had reached the end of his tether.

"I have to go Juliano." Arthur raised his hands in a placating gesture putting both his hands up and trying to maneuver away but Juliano caught his arms again.

"No you don't, you know I don't."

"I really really must" Arthur insisted.

"I must see you again Arthur."

Arthur shook his head, "That's impossible Juliano."

"Why?" the guy implored and Arthur snorted, was this guy serious, he was no better than Gwaine.

Arthur roughly pulled his hands away this time and said "Because, I am married." He said each word slowly enunciating it before he brought his fingers to his lips and placed them back on the other mans lips, walking away and finding Gwaine watching him with an amused expression which made him want to punch something in his anger, was he important to Gwaine at all? Had he ever been?

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't guessed by now, this is Eyes Wide Shut- Merlin style...

When they were back home last night Gwaine had kept his promise in the car and Arthur's arse was sore from the pounding he'd gotten as he woke up alone in his bed.

He still had no idea if Gwaine had gone ahead and cheated on him or why he'd let Gwaine fuck him last night. By all means he should have demanded Gwaine to explain himself but it had been more than two weeks since they'd had sex and Arthur was lost after Gwaine's demanding kisses and wandering hands.

Atleast he still seemed to be interested in having sex with him. Arthur felt sluggish and tired from the late night he'd had and he checked the bedside alarm clock to find it was eight in the morning. Merlin would be getting up soon and Arthur pulled himself out of bed and went into the shower.

When he was dressed and ready he wandered into Merlin's room to find his tyke still fast asleep with his little dark haired head peaking out from under the covers.

Merlin was a rare and magical miracle. That was why Arthur named him so at Morgana's suggestion, he'd been conceived out of the blue and Arthur had been shit scared when he'd found out that it wasn't a joke and that he being a he was really carrying a baby.

Still he could never imagine a life without Merlin in it anymore. Merlin had inherited Gwaine's dark hair and Arthur's blue eyes, and even for a child he looked beautiful. Arthur just hoped he would not inherit Gwaine's flighty behavior.

And that soured his mood considerably and he left Merlin sleeping and descended the stairs to prepare breakfast.

Gwaine was nowhere to be seen and Arthur was halfway through making pancakes when Merlin sleepily came down to the kitchen.

"Morning daddy"

"Good morning tyke, are you hungry?"

Merlin nodded his head, a few unruly dark strands escaping and hiding his eyes.

Arthur placed a glass of warm milk in front of Merlin who sipped leisurely, seemingly content. He still had not asked for Gwaine like he did everyday and Arthur was clenching his jaw wondering what excuse he'd give this time for his absence.

When Arthur was finished with the pancakes he placed them in front of Merlin.

Merlin looked at him expectantly.

"What?" asked Arthur and his tone had been harsh for Merlin seemed taken aback and murmured 'Nothing' before poking at the pancakes with his fork.

Arthur sighed "I'm sorry baby, tell me, what is it?"

Merlin shook his head looking mournful still and Arthur went around the table and scooped him into his arms making him sit in between his legs.

He spoon fed the pancake which seemed to bring Merlin out of his dark mood and when he was done he quietly asked "Will pa be home today?"

Arthur squeezed him tight to his chest and replied "Probably yes…"

Merlin had turned in his arms now and was looking at Arthur in that innocent way that only children were able to, Merlin's disappointment was palpable and Arthur swore to confront Gwaine if not for himself then atleast for Merlin.

Gwaine was back home only in the evening that day and Arthur had ended up promising Merlin that they'd go to Uther's tomorrow instead of the shopping.

Arthur was waiting on the sofa when Gwaine arrived, looking haggard as he always did these days. And Arthur though he was a workaholic but it was nothing compared to Gwaine.

Gwaine sighed when Arthur's pointed glare didn't drop from his face and placated "Alright, I promise to be home all day on Christmas, okay?"

"Make that promise to your son yourself" snapped Arthur before he headed up the stairs and out of sight not wanting to fight with Gwaine, atleast not until Merlin was asleep.

That night Gwaine dutifully sat with them when Arthur read Merlin a story lulling him to sleep.

* * *

When Arthur was sure Merlin was asleep he went back to the kitchen for a couple of drinks. Gwaine was sitting in the kitchen as well nursing a drink himself.

"That lad is growing way too fast" commented Gwaine as he finished his drink and headed up the stairs leaving Arthur some time to think on what he should say.

Having reached a point where he knew liquid courage couldn't fail him Arthur got into the master bedroom where Gwaine was already in dressed in nothing but black boxers.

Arthur felt a pleasant shiver in his spine just looking at him and berated himself for being so easy. He went into the bathroom first to delay this as much as possible.

Arthur knew Gwaine hated a confrontation, would do anything to escape one so he had to be careful but he wasn't sure whether he could keep a calm head about the situation when all he wanted to do was rage and throw things in anger.

When he went out of the bathroom equally naked except for his briefs Gwaine smirked at him and gave him a lewd once over.

When he was closer Gwaine pulled him into himself and then pushed him into the bed as he ran his hands up and down Arthur's naked chest and shoulders.

"I've missed you" Gwaine whispered and Arthur had to fight off the feelings welling up in him urging him to just give up and take what Gwaine offered.

"Really?"

Gwaine hummed and started to kiss his neck, small pecks that drove Arthur's mind to distraction.

Arthur relented for a while before he managed to evade Gwaine's limbs and mouth moving a little away from him on the bed which made Gwaine give an audible groan.

"Tell me something' Arthur said deceptively calm so as to not spook Gwaine, 'those two girls at the party last night…did you..'Arthur paused looking up at Gwaine, 'by heresay happen to fuck them?"

Gwaine's eyebrows shot up in outrage before he let out an awkward high pitched laugh, "What? What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about those two girls that you were so openly hitting on last night."

Gwaine was all denial, "I wasn't hitting on anybody."

Arthur hummed, did Gwaine really think he was that much of a fool.

"Who were they?" asked Arthur, "and don't tell me you don't know, you spent the better part of the night with them than me."

Gwaine ran his hands through his hair in frustration, "They were just a couple of social workers."

Arthur got up now and sat as he queried "Where did you disappear to with them for so long?"

"I didn't disappear with anybody Arthur," Gwaine came closer to him again and pulled Arthur against his back placing him between the v of his legs as he started kissing Arthur's neck again.

"Then why did I see you coming downstairs?"

Gwaine brought his fingers to Arthur's chest and squeezed Arthur's pink nipples, "Grayson wanted to discuss some business proposals with me and I got called up, that's all."

"And anyway, who was the old codger you were dancing with?"

Gwaine was smiling as he asked it and Arthur chuckled half in amusement at how Gwaine was obviously trying to shift the attention from himself because Arthur knew Gwaine didn't give a shit about who Arthur had danced with last night, and half in mad desperation wanting to see, wanting to know how Gwaine would react if he told him that the old codger just wanted to take Arthur upstairs and fuck him.

He laughed lightly before saying "A friend of the Grayson's" in a naughty tone.

Gwaine hummed, "What did he want?"

Arthur snorted and turned to look at Gwaine with incredulousness, "What did he want? What did you think he wanted? Sex…." Arthur turned back front again when all this made Gwaine chuckle even more, "Upstairs, wanted to fuck me right then and there."

"That's it?"

"Just about"

"Just wanted to have sex with my husband?"

"Mhmm"

"He was quite disappointed when I told him I was married."

"Well that's certainly understandable…"

Arthur who'd been waylaid by Gwaine's seduction right up to this point frowned, "Understandable?" he questioned, his tone full of confusion. How could Gwaine possibly j _ust understand_.

But it seemed Gwaine wasn't as phased as Arthur was by his statement as he grabbed Arthur's arse in one hand and tweaked his nipples with the other as he hummed, "Yes Arthur...you're after all a very….very beautiful man."

Gwaine's husky voice which usually did wonders to Arthur's libido now made him feel like ice cold water had been dumped on him.

"Woow…wow…Gwaine…" Arthur batted Gwaine's hands off which were trying to cling to him and got up from the bed. He leaned on the closet door for support before he asked "So you're saying that because I'm a beautiful man any other man whose gay would only ever want to talk to me because he'd want to fuck me, is that what you're saying?"

Gwaine frowned, "No Arthur, not so cut and right but I think we both know how men…think."

"So based on that I must understand that you wanted to fuck those two social workers?"

Gwaine rolled his eyes and as Arthur looked expectant, not ready to give this up without a straight answer from Gwaine. "There are exceptions to everything Arthur…"

Arthur fixed Gwaine with a cutting glare, "And what makes you an exception?"

Gwaine widened his eyes and spread his hands in an all encompassing gesture, "Because I'm married to you, and I'd never hurt you like that."

Arthur paced slowly towards the dressing table, "Do you realize what you're saying Gwaine?"

Gwaine looked uncertain and a little annoyed, "What?"

"You're saying that the only reason you wouldn't fuck those two girls is out of consideration for me, not because you don't really want to."

"God Arthur, are we going to be running in circles for the entire night."

"I'm not the one who's running in circles, why can't you just give me a straight damn answer for once?" Arthur raised his voice for the first time that night.

"I thought that was what I was trying to do here! I can't help it that you're such a jealous princess!"

Arthur glared hard at Gwaine willing him to take it back but when Gwaine looked smug and satisfied something ugly settled in Arthur's chest making him want to spout vitriol at Gwaine, he wanted to hurt Gwaine just as much.

"And you're never jealous of me are you? Because you're not the jealous type"

"No"

"You've never been jealous of me in the entire time we've been in a relationship, have you?"

"No"

"And why have you never been jealous of me?" shouted Arthur not caring now if he screamed and woke up Merlin.

Gwaine pulled at his hair in frustration, "You're actually angry that I'm not jealous of you?"

"Answer the question Gwaine!"

"Fine damn it! Fine, if that will shut you up! I trust you implicitly alright, you're the father of my child, you're my husband and I know that you will never be unfaithful to me."

Arthur gritted his teeth as he turned on Gwaine, "You are very very sure of yourself, aren't you?"

Gwaine paused before he shook his head and said "No Arthur, I'm sure of you."

Arthur started laughing hard making Gwaine look at him like he'd gone crazy. He kneeled on the ground and clutched his sides as he laughed and Gwaine got mad.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Arthur fell silent after a while contemplating whether or not he should tell Gwaine about something that he'd kept secret so far.

Arthur looked at Gwaine, looking vaguely annoyed and already inching to get away from this conversation and act like everything between them was fine. Well it was  _not fine_ , it hadn't been for a long time and for once Arthur wanted to see what it would be like to tilt Gwaine's world from its axis.

For once he wanted Gwaine to feel unsure and insecure.

Decision made he sat against the wall and faced Gwaine, "Do you remember last summer in Paris?"

Gwaine nodded and Arthur continued "Do you also remember that we were invited to a party and there was an army personnel sitting opposite to us in between two other officers?"

"No" said Gwaine although he remembered quite well. The army personnel Arthur was speaking of was Officer Lancelot Du Lac and he'd seen the way Arthur looked at him.

"He went out when the waiter delivered our food to take a phone call…"

Gwaine refrained from clenching his jaw that Arthur remembered so much of what happened still didn't sit well with him but he couldn't let Arthur know he knew. He wanted to hear what Arthur had to say.

Arthur waved his hands away, "Well, I saw him earlier that day, he was checking into the hotel and as he walked past me he looked at me."

Arthur was speaking very slowly now, but everything rang in Gwaine's ears as he listened wanting to stop and go out or escape this situation entirely. He had a feeling there was more to this and he wouldn't like what he had to hear but a sick fascination made him stay rooted to where he was.

"Just a glance, nothing more. But I was struck by him…I couldn't even move."

Arthur noticed Gwaine's tightly puckered lips and narrowed eyes, the only indication that this was news to him and it was obviously finally making a chink in his armor. Sadly, all Arthur could feel at the moment was a strange sense of elation.

"And I remember thinking that if he had wanted me…" Arthur tilted his head, "even if it was only for…one…night, I was ready to give up  _everything_  we'd built together."

"You…Merlin…my whole bloody future." Arthur turned away his expression that of pent up anger and frustration.

"I barely slept that night…and when I woke in the morning all I could think about was him. I didn't know if I was afraid that he had left….or that he might still be there…."

"But by that afternoon I found out he was gone."

"And I was  _relieved._ "

Gwaine stared at him comprehension dawning on him with a sudden clarity that he could no longer ignore. He felt something tight in his chest making him feel dizzy as Arthur stared back pensively at him.

The phone rang jarring the building tension in the room and Gwaine picked it up glad for the excuse to get out of there as soon as possible, he needed to think preferably where Arthur was not around.

"There's been an accident in the office, I need to go" said Gwaine before he quickly dressed and left the room leaving Arthur where he was sat on the floor.

When Gwaine was long gone, Arthur allowed the tears to fall putting his head in his hands as sobs shook his body and made him whimper. What had he done?

 


End file.
